A Die-Hard Holiday Debate
While recently searching for a fun Christmas movie to watch in the glow of the lights, a debate came up in our home that occurs every year in homes all across the country. “What about Die Hard?”
Stop. Just stop. While it is true the movie is set during a Christmas office party for a large organization, that is not the essence of the show. Instead, it is a hostage hold up with tinsel.
The familiar argument arose about the movie taking place on Christmas Eve. The rebuttal was easy – that was only setting up the event, and the storyline needed a reason to have a massive office cleared except for a few people who were all in one area of the building together. While the movie is set during the holidays doesn’t mean it’s about the spirit of the holidays. It could have been on Independence Day and the plot would have remained the same.
When someone thinks of Christmas movies, It’s a Wonderful Life, Home Alone, Elf, and The Santa Clause are often at the top of the list along with the Rankin-Bass cartoons from the 1960s, not a heist (well, except maybe for The Grinch, but that was Christmas specific.)
During the debate, the movie Home Alone was brought up, pointing out that an eight-year-old engages in sadistic guerrilla warfare against two mentally challenged burglars. The point was made that John McClane was simply Kevin McCalister with a badge and more experience. The violence was pointed out. Kevin burns a man’s scalp with a blowtorch, smashes another in the face with a steam iron, and of course there is shattered glass everywhere from the broken ornaments.
To me, though, Home Alone is actually more of a live-action cartoon. When Marv gets hit with a hot iron, he walks away with a funny red mark across his face, kind of like Daffy Duck with a turned-up bill or Wile E. Coyote with a nose that looks like a slinky. It’s slapstick not terrorism.
Christmas movies are supposed to be soft and cozy, making a viewer believe in the magic of Christmas. There is nothing “cozy” about Bruce Willis running barefoot across shattered glass trying to hunt down a German Severus Snape muggle, and there is certainly nothing magical about C-4 explosives dropping down an elevator shaft. When I watch a Christmas movie, I want to hear sleigh bells, not the deafening roar of a submachine gun. It wasn’t as if Santa was driving the SWAT team in a truck being pulled by reindeer after all. Christmas is for Jimmy Stewart running through the snow and Kermit the Frog singing about Bob Cratchit, not about terrorists falling out of windows.
I was told the evidence was in the eggnog, and that if I would take out the explosives the show would be exactly like a Hallmark Channel original. A tired father flies across the country to be with his kids, faces obstacles, and learns the value of love and family. In the end, he drives off into the snowy night with his wife, their marriage saved.
It was pointed out that John McClane is like guys everywhere, fighting against insurmountable odds to save Christmas. He is bloody, barefoot, tired, and stuck in a building he cannot leave, kind of like Clark Griswald.
If the debate should happen at your home, I would say welcome to the party, pal. You can always suggest the family watch Gremlins instead. Yippee-Ki-Yay.
Randy D. Gibson is CEO of RDG Communications, LLC.
